Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
