dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
