best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
