I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize