mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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