dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
