There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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