I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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