i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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