sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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