Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
