Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize