Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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