So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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