My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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