So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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