She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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