did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
