You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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