He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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