tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
