I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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