OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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