I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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