check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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