I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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