I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
