Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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