just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
