I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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