i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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