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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize