Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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