He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
