If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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