Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
