dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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