Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
