absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
