me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I pour the whiskey from now on
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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