he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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