im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
