Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Randomize
