2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just gift wrapped bread.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
