oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
