I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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