Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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