We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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