So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
