I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
