I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
