Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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