You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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