my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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