He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
