I just pynch a tree in the face
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
