well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
