Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
