I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
