so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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