she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
