i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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