I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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