How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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