ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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