i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
