I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
