I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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